Back-arrow-222 Nuisance Trapdoor

The Nuisance Trapdoor opens up automatically to swallow members of the audience whose ringing cellphones, loud crinkly candy wrappers, smelly sandwiches, or annoying running commentary disrupt a performance, whether of the filmed, musical, or theatrical variety. The Trapdoor is selective in that it understands precisely which type of oubliette in which to deposit the offender. Those who fail to turn off their phones, or, worse, take calls during the middle of the performance, find themselves in a dark room full of ringing cell phones. Those who talk loudly to their companions during the show, to the annoyance of others, slide down into a pit full of boisterous people who are time-shifted a few minutes into the future, whose loud cries thus ruin the ending of big game or movie.


The Trapdoor opens underneath the nuisance, who slides into a punishment oubliette for the duration of the performance. At the conclusion of the performance, the cell floor rises up, and the prisoners are able to crawl out unharmed, but hopefully more respectful of the rights of others for quiet enjoyment of a movie, concert, or play.

Historical Side Note

Widespread intolerance grew after the initial introduction of the Trapdoor. The limits of acceptable behavior constricted, so that anything that might even conceivably annoy someone else, became an offense punishable by slide through the Trapdoor. Eventually, use of the Nuisance Trapdoor was discontinued when too many people found themselves becoming its victim.