The Urban Noise Dampener is a clear, lightweight film that clings easily to walls and windows, muffling the noise of insufferable neighbors on the other side of your wall, clattering garbage trucks on the street below, and drunken pedestrians as they shout to each other while stumbling past your apartment window.

The invention of the Dampener revolutionized thousands of previously undesireable neighborhoods. Being located next to a highway, busy street, or elevated train was no longer considred a detriment, as the noise was negated. No one objected when a nightclub moved in next door. Business thrived, and most people's social life improved, even as their nightly sleep became more restful. (Manufacturers of sleeping aids changed their business model to pursue the invention of innovative alarm clocks).

And then, accustomed to a quieter world, any kind of noise grew intolerable. People began to cut small squares of the Noise Dampening Film to place over their own ears. Holes in the film could be opened or closed selectively, so that it was no longer necessary to hear anything you didn't want to.